Thought of the Day

Note to self: "Life is not about having IG-perfect moments but having precious moments that make perfect IGs."

You see, I've started following a few local IG accounts for the last month. And boy do the mamas put up perfect photos and videos of their little ones...to a point I couldn't help but wonder what they do for a living if they're not SAHMs (because they seem to be posting photos anytime of the day), or if they have husbands who earn neat 5-figure sums every month (because they live in big houses and their kids dress really well...expensive) or if their kids were a dream (you know, beautiful, obedient, well dressed...well, perfect kids everybody dream of).

Word

"Singapore [was] very lucky to have Mr Lee as [its] first Prime Minister - 
I think his contributions [...] tremendously outweigh criticism of him."
Mr Chiam See Tong

Source: Loh, C.K. (2015, March 28). No let-up in surge to pay respects. Today, pp. 2.

#RememberingLeeKuanYew

#NoYewNoUs

#NoYewNoUs

And so, at 3.18am on 23 March, Mr Lee Kuan Yew passed away after being hospitalised for 45 days.

While many of us quietly, and perhaps too, secretly, revere the man, there are others who are indignant about the volume of media coverage and ground sentiments about the passing of the first Prime Minister of the country.   Some took to social media to quibble about why they would not be that sad about Lee Kuan Yew's death, or that those who have suffered from f***ed up policies should be given the right to condemn the man.

And I was thinking, it's always easy to be critical of what someone does (or does not do).  Evidently, how objective can one man's view of the world be?  Do I agree with controversial policies including the graduate mother's scheme or media censorship?  Do I think that the people in the like of Francis Seow and Chia Thye Poh whom were relentlessly eliminated deserved such treatment?  No, and no.

I am not a LKY supporter.  But what I do know is that without Mr Lee Kuan Yew's vision, courage and perseverance, we most probably would not have transcended from third world to first in [less than] 50 years.  As Stefanie Sun puts it in her tribute on the local broadsheet, "...I do not see myself as a direct result of Mr Lee's exceptional accomplishments.  I do, however, look to the people whom I love the most as living testimonials of his legacy."  And I believe she speaks for many of us, well, at least for me.  My parents are not really educated.  Having only completed primary school education, life was hard for my family of five with my father as the sole breadwinner of the family.  And had it not been for meritocracy, fair education policies, and equality between gender and among races, I reckon I would probably be a dishwasher or a cashier.  Today, I am decently employed as a polytechnic lecturer.  Sure, I grouse about the cost of our HDB flats today (and for me, it's more than half a million dollars for a measly 93 square metres) among many other things, but I am thankful that home ownership was an acuity that took shape back in the 1960s.

Could someone else have done the same, or even better?  Perhaps, but I'm not sure because there is really no way of finding that out now, is there?

#RememberingLeeKuanYew #ThankYouMrLee

Blessed Birthday

I will be your God throughout your lifetime...

I made you, and I will care for you.

I will carry you along and serve you.

Isaiah 46:4, NLT

A week and a day

And it's totally weird but I did enjoy attending my wedding.  Hardly a fan, I reckon I can explain it now.

The thing about being Chinese, and planning a wedding is this: There are many Chinese wedding customs and practices that nobody is quite sure why they are there, or why they are carried out in a certain way, or why they are (even) necessary, but the elders in the family will insist that they are carried out anyway.  And sometimes, these people who may insist that such practices be carried out aren't even the parents, or even an older person!  It's like, suddenly, this is everybody's "big day" (Oh, and don't get me started on the offense I took with the terminology - big day).  And the same people are mad with you (I mean me) and at you  (me again) because you (I) didn't plan your (my) wedding to their convenience ("Sentosa?  Why so far?"  Enough said.).

According to Collins English Dictionary, a wedding is the act of marrying or the celebration of a marriage.  What I find most difficult to comprehend is the practice of inviting the whole kampong to a wedding reception, many of whom, I secretly suspect, may not even care to share the joy, just because it seems the right thing to do.  Annoyingly, the hospitality industry fully understand the concept of mian zi (面子) and capitalised on this wedding business opportunity (Does the phrase "a minimum of 25 to 30 tables" sound familiar to you?).

Believe me when I tell you the many baffled looks (and some others classified as looks of disbelief, seriously) I've gotten because there will not be any gate-crash games, or that I opted for one wedding dress (and not the usual two or three), or that all we really want is a small and intimate wedding celebration that we can remember, and heavens forbid the multiple march ins, yum sengs and photo montage!

Sure, I relented to some things to keep the parents, particularly my mum, happy.  At the end of the day, I'm glad we stuck to our guns too.  Bridezilla? Maybe, but I'm not a clueless 18-year-old who wishes for nothing less than a magical wedding.

Of course, whatever could go wrong did go wrong, somewhat.  Our schedule went into overrun in the morning; I looked like Superman's twin with the out-of-place-fringe under the veil (and nobody told me!); our wedding cake almost never came; M had a boo boo moment during the profession of vows;  I completely forgot my thank you speech during the lunch reception and I broke out in hives before lunch was over!

But we are so blessed with friends who readily offered their help, friends and family who flew in specially to attend our wedding celebration, and the heartfelt wishes and gifts (including air mailed gifts) from everyone.  We feel so loved.

Thank you Lord, for blessing us with a beautiful wedding, and countless memorable moments as we embark on our journey with You at the centre of our lives.

With this ring, I thee wed...

"I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,

A church filled with family and friends.

I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,

He said one that would make me his wife."

#celebratoryflowersfromroomie

The card that came with these lovely flowers read:

Dear Jo,

Enjoy your last 3 days of singlehood.

Here's to more days of Happiness!

Luv, Leela :)

Blessed Birthday

"May you increase in wisdom and favour as you behold Jesus more and more!"

The truth about memories

The thing about memories is this - the experience(s) which make up memories had inadvertently shaped me the way I am today, whether I like it, them, or not.

The same way I would make a mental note to myself not to behave in a certain manner if I do not like what I have experienced or to be like what I have positively experienced.  I would also tell myself if I liked the me that day, or if I don't, I would have to not do it again, consciously.

Academy Award-winning actress Sophia Loren once said, "I've never tried to block out the memories of the past, even though some are painful.  I don't understand people who hide from their past.  Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now."

Today, I couldn't help but wonder how different a person I would be today if I have had experienced different things in my life, and how different the memories would have been.

Le Fleurs, non

...you don't bring me flowers, anymore.

Blessed Birthday

Be full of joy and gladness, rejoicing always in Jesus who loves you!

Of epiphany and epiphany...

The thing is, there are always things on my mind.  The difference is whether I have the time to sit and write.  Quite unfortunately, with life moving at sonic speed these days, some will slip me by after a couple of hours.  Others, which usually are what I would rather forget, tend to stick around a little longer.

Ahhh...the conundrum of life.  Much to my dismay, I discover myself giving more attention to people who do not matter (and of course if you know me well enough, the subtext actually reads "people I want to kill") than those who do.  Have you ever had co-workers who left you wondering how they landed themselves the job in the first place?  Well, enough said.  It's the same for feedback.  My natural tendency is to focus on the negative ones when it comes to my work, simply because it is one negative feedback too many.  It doesn't matter how amazing people think I am, because the negative comment/ feedback is the annoying stain that I cannot but notice.

My epiphany came from a trusted co-worker whom I safely call my friend.  I was reminded that I was full of love, and happiness, but the old me dissipated in the past year.  And it was spot on.

So, when Pastor Prince started singing Before the Throne of God Above, I was really thankful because I was beating myself up for "losing" that love.  That was for me!

"Before the throne of God above, I have a strong and perfect plea.  A great high priest whose name is love, who ever lives and pleads for me.  My name is graven on His hands, my name is written on His heart, I know that while in heaven He stands, no tongue can bid me thence depart..."

Such amazing grace!  And it can only be Jesus...

Le Fleurs VI

Circa 2006

"I probably am the epitome of contradiction. I yearn for freedom, yet when I get it, I'm perturbed by the solitude that comes along with it.  Beneath my cheerful and fun-loving facade lies an uncertain soul.  I believe there's a reason for everything, and sometimes in a bid to search for answers that never were, I think I overlook the important things in life. While I wonder as I wander, I look to Jesus to lead me the way."

Le Fleurs V

The disappointment

12 July 2012

And just as she suspected, it was all over...

Her heart sank as she found herself staring at the handwritten scribbling of a notice that read EETC Photo Shoot on the glass door.  And although she had prepped herself for the worst, she couldn't help but feel let down.  Who am I kidding?  I'd be lying if I say it is not important.  After all, it was the only affirmation to ascertain her work, especially after she was told she was "too low key".

8 March 2012

And she received the news that she was one of the two nominees for the award.  But intuition told her that there was more to it than the two weeks delay between the confirmation email and the excited phone call she'd received from her reporting officer one evening.

12 March 2012

And she found out, much to her dismal, that the director had plans to trade her nomination form for a shopping voucher.  A shopping voucher!  As much as she loved shopping, she found it hard to shake off her sentiment that the director had, wittingly or unwittingly, made a mockery of her work.

12 July 2012

And as she fought off her disappointment, the new song she was humming provided much comfort...

"My hope is built on nothing less

than Jesus' blood and righteousness

I dare not trust the sweetest frame

But wholly trust in Jesus' name.

Christ alone, Cornerstone

Weak made strong, in the Saviour's love

Through the storm

He is Lord, Lord of all.

When darkness seems to hid His face

I rest on His unchanging grace

In every high and stormy gale

My anchor holds within the veil.

Christ alone, Cornerstone

Weak made strong, in the Saviour's love

Through the storm

He is Lord, Lord of all.

Then He shall come with trumpet sounds

Oh, may I then in Him be found

Dressed in His righteousness alone

faultless, stand before the throne.

Christ alone, Cornerstone

Weak made strong, in the Saviour's love

Through the storm

He is Lord, Lord of all."

To trade off or not to trade off?

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle when I read the title of the latest publication "How to Grow a Strong Culture for a Healthy Public Service".  And almost instantly, I held my breadth and looked around me.  Thank goodness I'm the only one here, I thought.  And almost instantly too, I thought the title looked so wrong, at least to me.  A quick flip through the pages confirmed my suspicion.  This is propaganda!  And it was timely, perhaps even planned, that this issue focuses on values, namely integrity, service and excellence.

Er...wait.  You mean we have not been approaching the public service the way it should be?  Hmmm...is this the case like common sense, where common sense is, well, not so common?

"...with convictions of public officers for cheating and other investigations for alleged misconduct...[i]t makes some wonder if the Public Service and the values we espouse are being eroded." (page 9).  Er...wait again.  I thought the two former high-ranking government officials were only being charged of obtaining (another interesting choice of word) favours?  Whoa, wait...do you mean in the eyes of the court, they are already guilty?  Oh yes, 'guilty until proven innocent'...

At the end of the day, I reckon no one says it better than EDB Chairman Leo Yip.  "It's one thing to talk about [values] but another to be doing it every day.  Very few decisions are straightforward.  When you make that decision, [you first] weigh different factors to trade off.  If there's a trade-off between integrity and something else, and if integrity doesn't win the day, then your value isn't meaningful." (page 13).

But I couldn't help but wonder who would trade his or her integrity off with something else.  Would you?

One of those sleepless nights...

She buried her troubled face into her pillow as she recalled what happened that evening.

And she couldn't help but wonder if her greatest worry were increasing proven right, that she is less than second fiddle.  Many a times, she has dismissed the thought as a frivolous speculation as one that stems from her too-intuitive nature, which quite unfortunately, is also seldom incorrect.

"Don't be silly!  You're thinking too much."  She was often told.  "If you continue this conversation, I'm going to get angry..."

Charles M Schulz once said, "Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you cannot answer."  As she tossed in bed wondering about the what ifs, she pondered over the resentful look that would occasionally stare at her in the face.

And perhaps Dr Seuss was right.  "Sometimes the questions are complicated [but] the answers are simple."

Ah Choo!

Even when SARS was at its scariest, most people were not compelled to don masks when they were unwell.  And so, this is why I couldn't help but wonder the effectiveness of this public campaign of getting people to sneeze into a piece of tissue in public places and not use it to chope seats at foodcourts during lunch hour, or wipe their mouths thereafter...

The C Word

As the whites and the blues compete neck-to-neck for the parliamentary seat at the Hougang by-election, which, again, does not fall short of airing dirty laundry in public or biting accusations about integrity and honesty, I cannot help but wonder what the game is about.

Short of being bias because of a childhood friendship, I was secretly hoping that my friend would win the seat this time around since I figured that at the end of the day, it should be about serving the residents, or is it not?

If campaigning is about achieving change, it means having a clear aim or purpose, knowing what change one wants to achieve and what is required to bring that change about.  Since last May, it was evident that many people are screaming for change.  Gandhi once said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."  But is change all about having an alternative voice in parliament, or is about improving the quality of life of the-said residents in the constituency?  To be honest, I am confused.

Do you have the answer?