No, I do not speak immaculate English. Not at all! I speak Jo-Lang. The rules of Jo-Lang include, (a) proper grammatical and sentence structure, (b) the use of pertinent vocabulary to exemplify the point(s) I’m trying to make, (c) the use of acronyms, (d) ang-moh-fied Hokkien/ Cantonese vocabulary and (e) the use of tone and expressions. You must know that Jo-Lang is quite different from Singlish, where there is zero grammar.
In this lesson, I will go through very briefly how you can master Jo-Lang. Imagine this scenario where you and your friend walked into a quaint apparel boutique and saw an out-of-the-world bright orange dress complete with shocking pink sequins and green lace and yellow feathers. But the salesperson wasn’t smiling when you entered the store at 9pm (erm, closing time, geddit?) What would you say?
Using true-blue Jo-Lang, you will go, ”Wah piang eh (Rule e), this dress is so OTT (Rule c)! Goodness gracious (Rule b), I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing THAT (Rules a and e)!” At this point, you’ve also noticed the salesperson kept looking at her watch so you walked out of the boutique voluntarily but irritated. The next thing you’ll say will be, “Gosh, that girl has a really kiam-pak face (Rule d). I don’t think I want to buy anything from her (Rule a).”
Hmmm, I think somebody is going to say ‘I so that one’ (now, this is Singlish) again...LOL
1 comment:
i was waiting for the 'sooooo that one' line from you, but it didn't come.
so no.
infact this entry is almost funny.
guess you dont really know what makes you so irritating 'tat one' still.
Haahaa
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