Rethinking Generosity

My attention is drawn to something more abstract, something beyond colour and looks or nationality. And it got me wondering what it is that God wants to tell me. It's too much of a coincidence that I should come across the notion of generosity once too many this week. Generosity. Am I a generous person?

I've come to realise that my generosity is selective, and no, not monetary wise. I choose who to be generous with, whatever it may be. And I thought about time too. The past weekend has witnessed me wondering if I should be doing work instead of busking under the sun or having a long lunch with my friends or wandering, albeit aimlessly, around the city. I've found myself saying "Sorry, I've gotta go..." so often that now, in retrospect, I wonder what's happening to me.

But that brings me to another question: Have I been generous with my friends? Well, no prize for guessing, but TBF has subtly, no wait, not so subtle actually, attached a resounding negation to that question. And my reason of being a really private person is paradoxical by the very notion that I really want my friends to truly know who I really am. But human relationships are hard...it's hard to connect, even harder to sustain. So, what am I afraid of, if I'm afraid?

Hmmm...I think I miss my friends.