Complaints

Not too long ago, I've been told that I'm always complaining about things, all the time. And I wondered, 'I thought I was just saying my mind? You mean that's complaining?' And it got me thinking, 'So, when is a comment a comment; a complaint a complaint? Where's the line? How do you differentiate the two?' Of course, there were no answers.

But I think I found my answer from Beautiful Child by Torey Haden recently:

"Perplexed and frustrated by Venus's behaviour, I took my troubles with me to the teachers' lounge. I didn't really expect anyone to give me answers when I moaned about what was going on in my classroom. Indeed, I wasn't even upset, just frustrated. Being a rather noisy person by nature, this was my way of coping with the pressure. It was also a way of thinking for me. I'd go down to the lounge, complain about what was happening, and in the process of hearing myself articulate the problem, I'd often come up with alternatives.

Julie, however, appeared unsettled. "You're feeling really angry about Venus, aren't you?" she said to me one afternoon after school when we were alone.

Surprised, I lifted my eyebrows. "No, I'm not angry. Why?"

"Well, you just seem angry. In the things you say. You're always complaining."

"It's not complaining. Just letting off steam, that's all." I smiled reassuringly at her. "That's different from anger. I don't feel angry at all."

Julie looked unconvinced."