Retelling mumsy my encounter with Mrs F suddenly brought me to a realisation that I was, am still mad at her apparently . And no amount of denial or reiteration of "Nah, I'm okay with it." can change the truth. The truth was, I couldn't let go...not yet, anyway. But it felt strange telling my story for mumsy wasn't exactly very keen. Evidently, we have drifted.
In fact, we - the people at work I used to hang out with - all have. But we try to keep us together and even though none of us works in the same place anymore, we meet at least once a term. Well, we try to. And after the usual pleasantries and important updates on each other's lives, somehow our conversation never fails to fall into talking about our former workplace, former co-workers and the latest happenings of a certain group of people who will always be our dessert for that day. It's like this: We inform (read: bitch), query (read: doubt), analyse (read: judge) and finally laugh about it.
It had dawned on me recently that our conversational topics have remained pretty much around the same subject(s) throughout these couple of years. Sure, we do stop talking about the same things once in a while but we soon run out of things to say to each other, and then inevitably, silence sets in. And that silence, even for a split second, was unbearably deafening. Eventually, we'll go back to talking about the bittersweet past and everybody would be morbidly happy.
And when all has been said and done, 2 questions remain in my mind. Is that the glue that's still holding us together? Or, is it simply the case of "We hadn't let go yet"?
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