God's love

I couldn't help but wonder if it were spoken in retaliation or for real, but it sure threw me off balance. Too taken aback with the unexpected respond, I was at a total loss for words. An excellent teacher, I am not, but I reckon I'm not bad at what I do. But never had I imagined the day when someone would tell me in my face (quote and unquote) "I didn't learn anything from you".

But I wasn't mad at her; I was mad at myself for I only could utter "...too bad then" in response. Retrospectively, I would have loved to reply "I'm sorry to hear that".

No, wait...I have to be truthful. Was I mad when I caught her facebooking while I was delivering a lesson? No. If I were, I wouldn't have just whispered in her ear "I don't think I'm teaching Facebook today." Was I mad she continued doing her other assignment even as I stood beside the group to listen to their discussion? No. I was wondering why she didn't finish her work at home. Was I mad she reasoned "But it's due today" when I told her after class I was not comfortable at her completing her other assignment in my lesson? No. I felt sorry for her she hadn't realised what was wrong.

Still, I give thanks to the Lord. The thing is this: Yesterday was the day I had a formal observation. And to cut a long story short, A thought it was a really good lesson. "Only a teacher will be able to pull off something like that" and reassured me this was merely an attitude issue and told me to ignore it. Assurance came when A reminded me even the A/Ps get told the same thing in their faces. But truth be told, I was definitely perturbed by the possibility that the ST could find absolutely no takeaways to aid her career. I couldn't help but wonder if she's an acclaimed teaching genius or if she'd considered it child's play.

And now, I can't help but marvel at the arrangement. Precisely because the Lord knew this was going to happen, A was arranged to be a witness and an affirmation. Precisely because the Lord knew this was going to happen, E prepped me with the analogy what her STs had said about another tutor the previous day. Precisely because the Lord knew I'll still be thinking about it today, he spoke through the daily devotional "Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled" today: "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you...Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:27)

No, it's not about me. It's about what can be done to glorify Jesus. Right now, I just want to impart all the skills I have to those who will be nurturing the future of our nation. And I am neither troubled nor afraid now because I know He is with me, always.

You know the plans You have for me

You will complete Your work in me

My name's engraved upon Your heart

You sacrificed Your son for me

Atoning blood has pardoned me

Because of Christ, I am Your child

I'll be still, know that You are God

By Your Spirit I cry

My Abba, my Father

You'll love me forever

My future's secured in Your hands

You've crowned me with glory to worship You only

To none else will I bow my heart

For You are my Abba, my God