Matthew 25:29

And of course it wasn't any surprise that today's devotional should be exactly, and I mean exactly, what I wrote about yesterday.  Coincidence, you say?  But I sure know this is divine intervention in its place...

Matthew 25:29

29 ‘For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away.

...precisely because this parable is, ironically if you may, the very foundation the Matthew effect was based on.  The thing is this, I may be in the world, but I am not of the world.  While I may lament about the seemingly disparity in society, I stand steadfast in the Lord's love for me.  I know that I am greatly blessed, highly favoured and deeply loved, for He who did not spare His own son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? (NKJV Romans 8:32)  Need I say more?

John 13:34

"A new commandment I give to you, 

that you love one another; 

as I have loved you, that you also love one another."

By Faith

There are times when I don't understand why some things happen in a certain way, or why certain things happen.  It's like this: I thought my Lord, God, will fulfill all my heart's desires, for now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that [I] ask or think, according to the power that works in [me] (Ephesians 3:20), but sometimes, I don't exactly get what I want or what I think I want.

There is, some sort of divine intervention, I'd always felt in my life that I can't explain.  But what I do know is that my faith is in Him and His plans for me, that God has planned something better for [me] so that only together with [me] would they be made perfect (Hebrews 11:40) as I keep my eyes on Jesus.

God is awesome!

Somehow, I was excessively infuriated when I couldn't wriggle my way into the shelter because they had not noticed my presence in the midst of their incessant chatting and excuse me did not work. It didn't help very much that my thin blouse became soaked in a matter of seconds.  And boy, was it cold!

I couldn't help but succumb to what L lamented over dinner one day about the influx of foreigners in Singapore.  The acronym, FT, has been interpreted in two extremes in the longstanding debate.  The question is, foreign talent or foreign trash?  To me, it has always been the former, well, until the rain got the better of me, literally.  And I found myself feeling mad throughout lunch, to the extent I almost took out my mobile phone to bitch about my FT encounter, as my mind replayed every possible nasty adjective from my vast vocabulary bank, until I was distracted by the concentration needed in my shoe hunt.

At the end of the day, what amazed me was not my ability to yield to anger (I admit total defeat in this department!), but the aptness of Proverbs 26:20 - "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down." or explained as such according to my Life Application Study Bible: Talking about every little irritation or piece of gossip only keeps the fires of anger going.  Refusing to discuss them cuts the fuel line and makes the fires die out.  Does someone continually irritate you?  Decide not to complain about the person and see if your irritation dies from lack of fuel.

Today is the 26th.  God knew this was going to happen...

Verbal Diarrhea?

I'd always found it amusing that there are people who are uncomfortable with silence.  And the result of that discomfort is that they'll try really hard to say something, anything.  And I reckon I can't really blame them, for different people have different ways of dealing with it.

Coincidentally, I found myself ruminating over Proverbs 17:27-28 just this morning: "A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even tempered.  Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue."

And it suddenly dawned on me that there's an exact equivalent to the lay person - verbal diarrhea.  Believe me, it's not at all difficult to find out how others define this term.  The Urban Dictionary defines verbal diarrhea as a "condition suffered by an individual who has the inability to shut the f*** up".  And this is just one of them; there are twelve.

At the end of the day, I couldn't help but marvel at the omnipotence of God, for coincidences are simply God's way of remaining anonymous.

His love endures forever

While waiting for the ATM to dispense some cash this morning, I couldn't help but notice the quote from Les Miserables (Victor Hugo, 1862) on the little blue screen.  It read, "Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved."  And almost immediately, I felt for this phenomenal playwright, for I knew he'd missed it.

And I reckon I do know better.  I don't have to be convinced I am loved.  I know I am.

Because God's love never fails (Psalm 136)...

Praise the LORD, O my soul

Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise His holy name.
Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits -
who forgives all my sins
and heals all my diseases,
who redeems my life from the pits
and crowns me with love and compassion,
who satisfies my desires with good things
so that my youth is renewed like the eagle's.
(adapted from Psalm 103: 1-5)

God's love

I couldn't help but wonder if it were spoken in retaliation or for real, but it sure threw me off balance. Too taken aback with the unexpected respond, I was at a total loss for words. An excellent teacher, I am not, but I reckon I'm not bad at what I do. But never had I imagined the day when someone would tell me in my face (quote and unquote) "I didn't learn anything from you".

But I wasn't mad at her; I was mad at myself for I only could utter "...too bad then" in response. Retrospectively, I would have loved to reply "I'm sorry to hear that".

No, wait...I have to be truthful. Was I mad when I caught her facebooking while I was delivering a lesson? No. If I were, I wouldn't have just whispered in her ear "I don't think I'm teaching Facebook today." Was I mad she continued doing her other assignment even as I stood beside the group to listen to their discussion? No. I was wondering why she didn't finish her work at home. Was I mad she reasoned "But it's due today" when I told her after class I was not comfortable at her completing her other assignment in my lesson? No. I felt sorry for her she hadn't realised what was wrong.

Still, I give thanks to the Lord. The thing is this: Yesterday was the day I had a formal observation. And to cut a long story short, A thought it was a really good lesson. "Only a teacher will be able to pull off something like that" and reassured me this was merely an attitude issue and told me to ignore it. Assurance came when A reminded me even the A/Ps get told the same thing in their faces. But truth be told, I was definitely perturbed by the possibility that the ST could find absolutely no takeaways to aid her career. I couldn't help but wonder if she's an acclaimed teaching genius or if she'd considered it child's play.

And now, I can't help but marvel at the arrangement. Precisely because the Lord knew this was going to happen, A was arranged to be a witness and an affirmation. Precisely because the Lord knew this was going to happen, E prepped me with the analogy what her STs had said about another tutor the previous day. Precisely because the Lord knew I'll still be thinking about it today, he spoke through the daily devotional "Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled" today: "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you...Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:27)

No, it's not about me. It's about what can be done to glorify Jesus. Right now, I just want to impart all the skills I have to those who will be nurturing the future of our nation. And I am neither troubled nor afraid now because I know He is with me, always.

You know the plans You have for me

You will complete Your work in me

My name's engraved upon Your heart

You sacrificed Your son for me

Atoning blood has pardoned me

Because of Christ, I am Your child

I'll be still, know that You are God

By Your Spirit I cry

My Abba, my Father

You'll love me forever

My future's secured in Your hands

You've crowned me with glory to worship You only

To none else will I bow my heart

For You are my Abba, my God

P for Promises; P for Plans

For a few years now, I loathe the obligation to explain my aversion to work in a certain organisation in Singapore. An irony, it seems, that even the people closest to my heart would not but still probe "Why not?" at times.

"The pay is good."

"It's an iron rice bowl."

Or at times, tactless, though harmless, justifications like "You're an Arts grad; teaching is a good career."

The thing is this: One can list a thousand and one reasons why it makes perfect sense to resume work in that esteemed organisation, yet there is simply no desire within me, no hunger, no fire.

While some lofty initiatives put me off totally, I cannot deny the purposeful ones designed for the betterment of the student population in Singapore. Perhaps there is a gap, an idealistic-realistic dichotomy, between the planners and implementers, between the people who run the school and the people who conduct the lessons. Sometimes I reckon it's my experience with the people running the school I was in who spoilt it all, but is it really? After all, I know I wasn't the only one who has walked away in disappointment. But I suppose it's time I stop quoting the self-righteous "witch" as an excuse; it's time to acknowledge the irreconcilable differences, be it in values or motives and the like.

"But it's the same everywhere."

"Work is work; it's a means to an end."

There are too many doing things they do not like and/or working with people they cannot stand. A quick glance at one's Facebook status tells it all. A job should not be an obligation. It should be enjoyable, something one looks forward to every day. It should be something that does not drain or tire but instead, fills one with more energy and passion to want to do more and better each time.

"The economy is bad; this is not the time to be picky."

Shalom peace. I think I have it. The reality of life witness the fast diminishing volume of my savings by the day, yet I am not afraid, for I have the promises of the Lord, promises that I will be bestowed with, unearned, unmerited, undeserved through the Lord, Jesus Christ, as I remember His word: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

Amen.

It will NEVER run out

Of the 3 stories today, the funniest and definitely most characteristical of human behaviour is Elijah and The Widow (1 Kings 17:8-16). The other 2 stories are Elisha and The Widow's Oil (2 Kings 4:1-7) and something about a borrowed axe. Ohhh, I remember now, it's The Floating Ax Head (2 Kings 6:1-7).

The impetus of this entry is not my zealousness to share what I'd learnt at church this morning (oops!), rather, it was the despondency brought about by the 7pm news on Channel U. As if the ongoing economic downturn has not struck enough fear in the country, the media has to reiterate the phrase 经济不景气 every other sentence (and no, I'm not exaggerating; just pay attention to the newscaster). And if there's an element of truth in the secular belief of the Law of Attraction, then one can only guess the magnitude of the damage that may be caused by the carelessness of the tongue.

Truly, I would be lying through my teeth if I claim that the thought of unemployment after graduation has never crossed my mind once. But I should know better than worry about this transient thought, for I know that my God will provide. (^_^)

Elijah and The Widow

Then the word of the LORD came to him, saying, “Arise, go to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and dwell there. See, I have commanded a widow there to provide for you.” So he arose and went to Zarephath. And when he came to the gate of the city, indeed a widow was there gathering sticks. And he called to her and said, “Please bring me a little water in a cup, that I may drink.” And as she was going to get it, he called to her and said, “Please bring me a morsel of bread in your hand.”

So she said, “As the LORD your God lives, I do not have bread, only a handful of flour in a bin, and a little oil in a jar; and see, I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die.”

And Elijah said to her, “Do not fear; go and do as you have said, but make me a small cake from it first, and bring it to me; and afterward make some for yourself and your son. For thus says the LORD God of Israel: ‘The bin of flour shall not be used up, nor shall the jar of oil run dry, until the day the LORD sends rain on the earth.’”

So she went away and did according to the word of Elijah; and she and he and her household ate for many days. The bin of flour was not used up, nor did the jar of oil run dry, according to the word of the LORD which He spoke by Elijah.

PS: If you're wondering about the funny bits in this story, I'll be glad to explain, if you ask.

Unshakable

Indeed, a harrowing period of financial uncertainties has set one heart too many a fluttering; a global phenomenon coined by experts a crisis worse than the Great Depression in the 1930s. And though I may not be at the crux of this economic hurricane, splashes of news reports across the front pages in the papers everyday on retrenchments, insolvencies and factory shutdowns is doing more than affirm the fear that analysts have struck in every layperson - the worst is yet to be.

But I am not afraid, for "...[I] shall remember the Lord [my] God for it is He who gives [me] power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to [my] fathers, as it is this day." (Deuteronomy 8:18, NKJV)

I am found in You always
Lifting my voice to give You praise
to You and You alone
the Lord of all my days

Who will love me, no matter what?

"It's hard to find people who will love you no matter what..." and so Carrie concluded in Season 3 of Sex and the City after Aidan broke up with her for her infidelity. Evidently, this statement stayed in my mind for a really long time. After all, it had been ages since I'd watched the episode.

As I pondered over the issue of love, unconditional love, I found myself wondering if there is anyone capable of giving another such love. The dictionary defines the word unconditional as absolute or without limitations and the word love as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. I know I can't, simply because I'm human and being human, biased. But I know of someone who can (and willing) and can inspire us to do the same.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love; not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (1 John 4:7-11)

At the end of the day, I may still not be capable of unconditional love but I know that God can.

Intimidated no more

"Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you." ~ Luke 10:19

PS: And why should I be surprised that this was intended for me?

PPS: Healer for KK

I know You love me

Something is not right and I know it for I haven't been able to string words into sentences and sentences into comprehensible texts for the last two days. With my mind in a whirl, it still is hard for me to decipher my own thoughts.

...habitual creatures...routine...fight to be different...window of opportunity...when one door closes another will open...making choices...what is right...too many doors...selfish wants...duty and obligation...I-centric world...lost and empty momentarily...afraid...how do I...stigma...live life to the fullest...social norm...in retrospect...what if it was wrong all along...will I do it differently...

And my state of brooding disquietude is making me wonder what's wrong with me. To elevate this bizarro to a new level, I even found myself telling Uncle M on Friday night I was feeling a little lost (He didn't even have to probe like he usually does). Maybe I was just overwhelmed by the surprise phonecall that came halfway across the globe, but volunteering information about myself sure wasn't me.

But I know everything's gonna be alright for my God-sent assurance, literally, came in the form of Darlene Zschech from Hillsong Church and these words:

God above all the world in motion,

God above all my hopes and fears,

Well I don't care what the world throws at me now,

It's gonna be alright!

Cause I know my God saved the day,

And I know His word never fails,

And I know my God made a way for me,

It's gonna be alright!

And as if somehow divinely guided, I set my eyes on a little card I'd always carried with me but never remembered the words on it which wrote: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." - John 14:27

To complain no more...

I bitch. Of course I do. Yes, I think I'm quite a nice person, but I'm human too; I fall short. So whenever I encounter any indignation, I can't help but bitch. Bitching comes in different forms, and it's not necessarily malicious in nature, for bitching, to me, is in the form of agitated bias 'commentary' which subsides as quickly as it flares up, aka complaining. And the funniest thing is sometimes, I complain [to myself] about myself too!

But from today, I will remind myself to stop doing all that...

"For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind.

But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh." (James 3:2-12)

...not with my strength but with His grace. And all because I just want to glorify Jesus.

For this I have Jesus

Anybody out there?

How strange it is that one should have a truckload of friends and yet have no one. And I'll always forget but Pris never fails to remind me. That night I found myself totally lost¹, Pris gently reiterated that the Lord will never leave me nor forsake me; ending our phone conversation with a recital of Psalm 121.

Adagio

It hadn't occurred to me immediately but it suddenly dawned on me that I'd come across the same verse 3 weeks back when I was trying to find a suitable quotation for this photograph I'd taken in the summer of 2005. In retrospect, I remember being in total awe of how verses 1-2 of Psalm 121 fitted perfectly for my photo and how I spent more than a few minutes staring at words in my bible, felt a certain reassurance and went hmmm...

I am not alone

It all makes sense now. He knows and he loves me...so much. I know it now. I can and I will depend on God because He not only made the hills but heaven and earth as well. I am safe for He watches over me.

Footnotes:

1. C302

The other F-word

When we are wronged, often our first reaction is to get even. Instead Jesus said we should do good to those who wrong us. Our desire should not be to keep score, but to love and forgive....so explains my Tyndale's Life Application Study Bible for Matthew 5:38 - 48.

Well, if you ask me, I'd say sometimes getting even comes with its fair share of the profane f-vocabulary.

And I can only lament what a strange teacher life is...

The last 24 hours had me fuming mad at Mr Anonymously Wadakok's comment. Is it necessary to be this curt? Here's something you need to know about me: I loathe rude people. And if you do not already know the linguistic connotation associated with the word period, let me explain. Period is used as an interjection by a speaker or writer to indicate that a decision is irrevocable or that a point is no longer discussable. And this is exacerbated by the part where Mr Anonymously Wadakok totally misinfers my sentence.

But like I've said, life is a strange teacher.

For it never fails to show me the other side of the story.

So while I was reading (and still fuming mad) just now, a familiar verse was literally screaming at me - "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you" (Matthew 6:33). Okay, maybe I need to read Matthew, I thought. So, I flipped to Matthew and somehow stopped at page 1656. And this was when I read about Jesus' words on retaliation and about loving enemies. This, of course, is not my first read on Matthew but I sure wasn't as mad afterwards.

There is a time for everything

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;

A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;

A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And to refrain from embracing;

A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;

A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;

A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace.

- Ecclesiastes 3:1-3:8

*****

By chance, I came across this chapter in the book of Ecclesiastes and although I’m not exactly sure why I was meant to read it, it was a godsend, literally. Many a times, we find ourselves stuck in a moment, or two, we can’t get out of because of the things we’d gone through in our lives and sometimes, these road blocks stop us from proceeding in our journey. But there’s a time for everything; there’s a purpose to life’s events, to teach us how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.

Wait...why does it sound like I'm trying to convince myself? *LOL*